Friday 19 December 2008

Our baby is teenager.

Today I am an exhausted yet proud mother! Celebrations started last night when 8 teenage and almost teenage girls arrived on our doorstep to spend the night in celebration of the fact our eldest is now 13. Unsure herself of what would constitute an acceptable party, our daughter bravely left us to invent a surprise evening. Understandably Bri and I planned to wear them out! Therein lay the first problem.
How do you wear out 8 teenage girls without being left totally wrecked yourself? (Personally I don't think it's possible unless you hire in someone to take on the job!)
We planned a walk down a country lane nearby, across fields and up a steep hill then back to ours for hot chocolate. We decided to punctuate the walk with various challenges so that rewards would give a sense of fun and incentive.
First stop - the end of the lane. 'Wherefore art thou Romeo?' hailed loudly by each girl in turn from the top of the stile successfully saw each of them receive a glow stick or glowing piece of jewellery. (These took at least 15 minutes to distribute due to various pieces being dropped in the mud.)
We continued on to the bottom of the hill and the next challenge which was to sing a Christmas Carol. 'O Come all you faithful' rang out over hill and vale in a manner and at a pitch which I'm sure is unlikely to ever be heard again. It was ominous that at this point the sky began to spit droplets of rain. Bri and I looked at each other. We hadn't accounted for this. Only moments earlier we'd commented on the mildness of the night happily trundling down the hill with the excited girls glowing in their trinkets. This would throw a spanner in the works. The singing must have done it we decided and began to hurry the girls towards the next and final challenge of the evening.
This next part was the most challenging for me as it was the steepest and muddiest bit of the walk. I trailed behind and watched the bouncing figures of the youthful group become smaller and smaller as they steamed on ahead despite the now persistent and more heavy rain. When I finally reached them gathered at the top of the hill I was a sodden , sorry looking lump.
Bri was no better as he determined to take on the last challenge which in the now sleeting and wind driven rain was nigh on impossible. The idea had been inspired, each girl to light a sparkler from the girl in front and say the 'iggle piggle' poem, the problem lay in the fact that we couldn't get the first sparkler lit due to the worsening weather. When it finally DID light it fizzled out within seconds because it had become so damp in the waiting process.
We abandoned the idea and decided to head for home. Brian and I dropped exhausted into bed at 11.30 having spent the rest of the evening hanging all the wet clothes out to dry and making sure everyone was happy. The girls continued merrily partying until 2. 30am until I'd finally had enough and threatened to separate them and put them in different rooms! Silence reigned.
Today has been yet another adventure, worthy of a blog all to itself so tomorrow I will continue in different vein.

Tuesday 9 December 2008

Post office pantomime


Has anyone tried buying a second class Christmas stamp of the 'religious' variety from the Post Office? One would think that on 9th December one wouldn't get a hard time for requesting them, especially as there is a week to go before the official last date of posting. I think customer services was sadly lacking when I went into my local branch earlier today.
No one was more surprised than me that in a season of supposed good cheer there was such a frosty reception to my innocent request for the religious version NOT the pantomime version. What unfolded was worthy of any pantomime I have ever seen.
I asked if they were likely to order any in and was told that it was too late as they take a week to arrive and by then it would be the last posting day for 2nd class stamps. I was incredulous! Surely a Post Office was able to obtain the services of Royal Mail to get some sent much quicker!
At this moment a second cashier appeared behind the toughened glass screen, glaring at me icily, she informed me in a superior manner, 'They've been on sale since the 5th November', as if it was MY fault for not buying stamps in November and that I should be ashamed of myself. Now I had not just one cashier but two who were staring at me with venom and obviously angry with me!
I have to say that it was at this point I realised I might not have been the first person to request 'religious; stamps after they had run out. It was obviously an issue which made them incredibly defensive. Their reaction was disproportionate to the request and their aggression uncalled for. Trying to diffuse the situation and aware of a growing queue behind me at the counter I calmly and gently apologised for causing them offence and quietly explained that they shouldn't take it personally. At this point a tirade of bitter venom errupted from the cashier,' Well that's very surprising because we're always getting stabbed in the back'.
I was growing more horrified as I realised that I might not be able to leave this battle zone unbloodied by attack. All I wanted was stamps for my Christmas cards! The anticipation and essence of joy at buying Christmas stamps for cards aimed at sending wishes of peace, joy and goodwill to all men had evaporated leaving me with a sour taste in the mouth. I made a second attempt to walk away from the till, 'You could buy first class stamps, we've got lots of those' he shouted to me. I moved back to the counter, 'Thank you ' I said, 'If I don' t manage to get any 2nd class stamps I'll come back.' With that I left the building having no intention of ever stepping in THAT post office again.
You see the fact is, last year this same post Office ran out of 2nd class 'religious' stamps early on in December and I ended up being persuaded to buy 1st class stamps. I had no intention this year of giving the Post Office any more of my money than needed to be or the satisfaction of my custom.
I came home, went on line and ordered 3 sheets of second class madonna and child stamps directly from Royal Mail. Free delivery within 2 days. Perhaps I should go back to my local Post Office and suggest they do the same.....but then again maybe NOT!

Sunday 30 November 2008

Amazing what a bit of Face Painting can do


As most parents know, when summer fetes and christmas fayre's come round there is always one poor parent left standing in the rain at the school gate weeks beforehand trying to get support and commitment from other parents. Suitably guilty of having declined many an invitation to help at said events, I found myself for the first time actually available to get involved. I bit the bullet and offered my services, reckoning that if I ticked the 'ANYTHING' box for involvement, it would be sufficient penance for my previous lack.
Imagine my delight when an almost immediate response offered me the task of face painting! I AM the face painting QUEEN! I even have my own kit. Tee hee what JOY!
Yesterday found me happily ensconced in the 'face painting' class room, a space specifically set aside for such purposes. I refused to be put off when I introduced myself to the person who had been doing it for the previous ten years! He confidentally told me that I could come back in an hour and relieve him and the other person allocated the task. 30 minutes in and I was summoned back to the room because there was a queue forming. Trying hard not to be intimidated by the master pieces of face painting that were emerging from the room. My hand shook as I looked down on the first person before me. I could tell by those baby blue eyes that this was a matter of utmost trust and I had never had a 2 year old starnger put so much trust in me before. The responsibility weighed heavy. She eyed me up suspiciously and I felt she knew that I hadn't done this before. (Well...not HERE and in this circumstance.)
I was inspired to ask her name and relieved when 'daddy' was forthcoming. At least I felt I was winning him over! Thank goodness she chose a simple design from the book and I was off. OK, it might not have been the BEST pussy cat in the world and it was a battle to win over my 11 year old daughter who was comparing the thickness of the mask to the others but hey...the child was smiling and daddy was happy.
There was no looking back. I became a hit with the 10- 14 age range by copying a logo from a sweat shirt which apparently is all the rage. A simple cheek design in various colours had me with my own queue! The only hiccup was the child who wanted to be a dinosaur. I had seen the previous dinosaurs and though I could happily apply the green base colour I wasn't sure about the teeth or eye effect! Thankfully the 'expert' became free and I graciously handed over the challenge.
Before I knew it, the end of the day was upon us. I made my way happily home passing, cats, tigers, lions and puff balls content in the knowledge that I had somehow made their day complete.

Friday 14 November 2008

When you forget your 'revelation' make sure you stay in Knightsbridge.


This last week I've been in London for a few days. Mostly when I need to stay overnight I'll stay with family in North London but on this occasion I needed to be more central/south. I racked my brain trying to think of who I knew who might put me up for a night or so and was thrilled to discover that the person I ended up asking was actually the administrator of the venue where I had my meetings!

I was given a piece of paper with scribbled map and directions and, at the end of the first evening, set off with a friend clutching the instructions busy chatting as we walked the 10-15 minutes to the nearest tube. It was only when I sat down in the station explaining to my companion that I was staying over night at a friends that I was alerted to the problem. My suitcase! I had safely tucked it away in a back room of the venue and had forgotten to collect it.

The prospect of no night clothes, tooth brush or clean underwear drove me to walk BACK 15 minutes to the venue hoping that someone would still be there. (I omitted to say that I was wearing killer stilettos and was NOT happy at the extra mileage.) The shops were shutting along the road by now as it was gone 10.30 pm and I had that heavy sense that everyone would have gone home. As I turned the corner with baited breath my senses were proved right. Darkness stared back at me through the glass entrance doors and all was still except for the flashing red security light ominously blinking as it guarded the sleeping building.

With aching feet and weary heart I made my way back to the station and concentrated on the directions which I happily discovered would lead me to the heart of Kensington. As I walked along the road my step began to lighten as I realised I would actually be staying in the grandest of accomodations! As I was greeted at the apartment entrance an expanse of corridor loomed before me and I was ushered into the depths of one of the biggest spaces I've ever been in with room after room opening up before me.

Ok! My breath might smell rank and I'd end up sleeping in nothing but Hey! the accomodation distracted me from any disappointment and as I sunk into the welcome mattress staring up at a chandelier I realised that life wasn't at all bad and went to sleep counting my blessings.
When I returned the next evening I made certain I remembered my 'revelation' suitcase.

Sunday 2 November 2008

Birthday Party with a difference

It has to be said that the combination of night time, forest, and a large group of 11 year olds in the pouring rain is not one that springs to mind as a party success for your daughter's birthday theme. When we first came up with the idea it was summer and the forest was enchanting , the weather glorious and the mellow day light hours warmed the theme to our hearts. Come November it was a totally different scenario!
My beloved was determimed to out do my 'feeble' efforts of a few years ago when I had designed a party along the same lines. I had organised a treasure hunt through the forest in the night time winter hours for daughter number 1. Low maintenance, 'get back to the house and hot chocolate quick' being my overiding ambition. It was a resounding success. So much so that my beloved was determined to make this occasion an even more memorable and exciting event.
As I quietly prepared the food for the party, he set off with daughter number 1 to do a 'reci'. Three hours later they returned with a very complicated looking master plan. Daughter number 1 raised her eyebrows. He planned to divide us into three groups going in different directions with three different sets of instructions. I said nothing.
Assuring us that he could set up the treasure hunt blind fold I was somewhat bemused when it started raining.........and didn't stop. With guests arriving in less than an hour he set off confidently armed with master plan. 15 minutes after guests arrived there was no sign of him. Finally as I was about to despair a very wet and soggy husband trudged up the now darkened driveway. No time to ask questions, we set off in groups to follow the carefully prepared maps and find the carefully hidden plastic bags with clues and directions. (Each team had a different supermarket brand plastic bag. )
Within 5 minutes of the first clue my team were in trouble. It was teaming with rain, pitch black and the ground was so flooded the path had become a blur of watery bogginess merging into the surrounding woodland and we were off track! Fortunately, daughter number 1 had been hiding in the woods waiting to jump out and scare us and was able to tell us that 'no' the bridge we were about to cross wasn't part of the plan and we needed to turn back.
What followed was a disaster. The team who had clues left in orange plastic bags wouldn't have had a problem, but my team was one of two who were allocated white plastic bags with different logo's. Please appreciate that in the dark and in the wet it was very difficult to ascertain which were which. We somehow ended up finding the wrong teams clues!
We continued on what turned out to be a treasure hunt of treacherous proportions. As the only adult I bravely encouraged my small team over bog, quarry, rabbit warrens and barbed wire fence! (Yes, we got so lost we were hemmed into a quarry with no escape but to climb over fencing.) When we finally made it back (last) to home base, freezing, drenched to the skin and with great relief, I could barely find it in myself to speak to my other half.
Needless to say if you were to ask any of the children present they would remember it as the best party EVER! Me ? I'm saying nothing!
(PS My beloved has since confessed that within minutes of setting off to set up the treasure hunt the master plan had become a soggy and unreadable map of disastrous consequence!)

Sunday 26 October 2008

Anyone for apple chutney?

It seemed such a good idea. The mother in law had even rewritten the apple chutney recipe for me and brought it with her the last time she came to stay, alongside a carrier bag full of apples.
Every time I've gone in the garage the last few weeks the growing smell of ripe apples has hit me as soon as I've opened the door. On Friday the nagging sense that if I didn't do something with the apples soon it would be too late was confirmed when the smell of over ripe and fermenting apples finally overpowered the normal garage smells.
I decided Saturday would be the day to get round to making the chutney. With happy husband, who loves his mum's home made chutney, and children at an age where they can get a bus to town to amuse themselves, I set about chopping and preparing the ingredients.
I'm not really your mother earth, homely type of person and, in an effort to cut the preparation time, I decided to try my new gizmo, onion chopper! After the first onion there were problems. With tears streaming from my eyes I peered at the 14 other onions waiting to chopped and realised that in my effort to cut corners I had in fact added to the difficulty equation by having to wash out said 'gizmo' following every onion. 2 hours in and virtually blind with the constant flow of tears I was finally onto....... THE APPLES. I have a confession..... it was only at this stage that I began to fully appreciate the seriousness of the fermentation process that had begun. Discarding the black, the fly ridden and the obviously squishy, I was left with a sad and manky collection which barely made up the weight I needed! Hey ho.......... I had started so I was going to finish!
Onions and apples finally prepared I looked, aghast, to realise that the pan I was using was FAR too small for the ammount of ingredients I'd prepared. It was THEN that I noticed the small print on the mother in laws recipe card, IF NO PRESERVING PAN HALVE THE INGREDIENTS!
By 10 oclock at night I had finally completed TWO separate batches of apple chutney. Needless to say we had, at a very critical moment, run out of jam jars and were frantically emptying and combining every half empty jar in the house in an effort not to waste the precious chutney. As we turned into bed late that night my dearly beloved turned to me and said innocently, 'I had no idea it was so much effort to make chutney'.
And if per chance any one of you reading this ends up with a jar of chutney for Christmas, please appreciate the sentiment and the high cost!

Monday 20 October 2008

When angels guard handbags.


Train tickets - you try and be organised and buy them in advance, you buy return tickets but then can't remember where you put them. When the day of travel arrives you're a nervous wreck, and all before you've even set foot on the train.

Last week I travelled to London for a few days to attend a conference. I confess to hesitating when making the decision as to where I should store the return part of the ticket. I remember being quite intentional about putting it somwhere 'safe' for fear that the ticket might get lost amongst the array of ticket stubs and receipts which seem to so easily accumilate in the depths of my handbag. Imagine my dilhema when on the day of return I had totally forgotten where the 'safe' place was!
It was nowhere obvious! The contents of my handbag, suitcase and pockets were strewn all over the back row of conference chairs along with all my dirty washing. No sign! I found numerous tickets dating back to last year which though totally worthless seem to invisibly stick there when one has a bag clear out!

The kind conference organiser happened to be standing there and offered to help me buy another one. Grateful but refusing his offer, intent on finding the lost one, I started rummaging again! He was then inspired to offer to pray. Well...... nothing ventured nothing gained!

I said a loud AMEN to the forthcoming prayer which was poured out with such compassion and tenderness, reminding God that he was a loving father and didn't want any of His children to lose money. Angels were declared to have been over my ticket and by the end of the prayer I was so full of confidence that I would find the ticket that I set off for the train station!

Have you ever been to Marble Arch in rush hour?
Have you ever tried to stand still in the middle of rush hour?
Have you ever tried to find a place where you wouldn't be knocked, bashed or walked upon in rush hour?
You'll agree with me then that it was a miracle that I found a tiny space protected by machines and barriers, cordoned off from the rest of humanity in which to search once more for the lost ticket! and there it was...nestled amongst the credit cards I had searched through seemingly a million times already!

I travelled home cherishing the thought there is a God in heaven who just gave me a whaking big kiss!

Monday 13 October 2008

From A- Zebra before breakfast


As any working mother will know the early morning juggle of children, housework and getting everything done on time, every time, is a constant and daily miracle. It's good to pause and ponder sometimes the hilarity of life in the midst of this crazy pace. Having now had space to take stock of last week I realise the humour of one particular morning.
I had been woken by my 10 year old informing me she was going to school as a zebra. (Don't ask!) We ransacked the house trying to find every stripy piece of clothing. The girls were convinced daddy had a stripy t shirt and mummy tried hard to hide under the bed covers when they insisted, after 10 minutes of searching, that they were SURE he DID have a striped T shirt and what could have happened to it? Mummy finally confessed that she had binned the aforementioned t shirt a good few months ago, having got tired of sleeping with a husband who looked like a zebra 7 nights in a row!
Alternative stripy clothing found, the next phase of preparation was the face painting. Critical to the overall look and to compensate for lack of the authentic stripy t shirt, mummy was tasked with:
a) Finding the face paint, which involved a rummage in the garage! (Don't go there!) b)Finding a picture of a zebra so that we could face paint an EXACT representation! and c) Doing an outline on child's face so that daddy, who is artistically and creatively challenged, could complete the face in time for the school run because mummy had to rush to drop other daughter at bus stop!
I have a feeling all this happened the same day as the car journey I blogged but I'll never know 'cos life tends to blur at times!
PS. Daughter had a good day as a zebra but decided not to take it up for a living!

Thursday 9 October 2008

If you haven't got a sense of direction you need a sense of humour!

Today, for the second time in a few weeks I found myself driving someone to an unknown address. The first time was a hotel near Heathrow! (Need I say more.) If you've ever ventured off the motorways to get anywhere near an address in this area then you know what I mean!
Traffic never flows slow enough to allow for dithering!
Today, armed with pages of printed out maps of various magnifications my travel companion took her job seriously, even pausing in conversation when we came to junctions to check they weren't the ones we needed to turn off. I could sense her tension and the pressure she felt to not go wrong! A stark contrast to the last (Aussie) companion who informed me within a brush of a junction that we should have gone off! My response to both companions having taken wrong junctions, was one of calm and collected humour verging on hysteria. Having driven more years than I care to recall and having taken more wrong turns and missed junctions than I dare admit, I am now of the disposition when faced with unknown journeys to consider each route an adventure to be discovered. There's always something round the corner. Whether miles of country road without a house in sight and no turning space or a spaghetti type junction with speeding cars, when faced with either scenario I can somehow dig deep for humour thus lightening the pressure so many of my companions obviously feel.
As we returned from our destination, still with a sense of euphoria at having arrived and retunred in one piece before midnight, my companion turned to me and commented how laid back I was and totally unstressed or phased by the challenge. Me? I enjoyed every hysterical moment.

Wednesday 8 October 2008

Humour of life


Mel started a new school in September and it's been the making of her! Everyday she comes in with some funny story. It's bringing out the best in her.


When asked to find a picture of a desert...Mel doesn't just find any old desert picture....oh no...she finds the most interetsing one with largest nose of camel in the foreground! 'Ickle Pickle' was introduced to the class and has amused the teacher no end. Mel sure must brighten up their day!

Tuesday 7 October 2008

It's cold for a costa rican




Welcome to the weekly ramblings of the Wilkinson household.
A lot goes on......

Alfredo our Costa Rican friend left this morning. (The one Brian climbed Chirripo with.) He couldn't believe the English weather.


The grandparents looked after the children and Brian and I took him to Lynton a typically English sea side town. It was a lovely end to a busy week. 3.30 this morning we heard him rustling around getting showered ready to catch the coach to the airport at 4 am. We're still recovering from the early start! Sleep now beckons.