Friday 14 March 2014

One more sleep...


Woo hoo - after three weeks of hubby being away there is only one more sleep left!

If I'm brutally honest, two weeks ago I was feeling quite ambivalent about his return. Years of being married to a global traveller has hardened me to the emotions that his absence causes, at least in the short term. What I  didn't quite anticipate is the strength of emotions that him being away for 3 weeks has stirred within me. To some extent it's been a taste of bereavement.

This time has been the toughest as his travels took him to places where internet and wireless connections were non existent.  Our communication has comprised of only 4 short skype conversations and 2 emails. Seeing as we have two teenage daughters our conversations consisted of filling each other in on their exploits and on the practicalities of our experiences. The funny and the sad eg. the cat stalking itself through the mirror and running into it……one of the girl's friends breaking her nose….GCSE revision detail and the fact I spring cleaned the house and have four empty drawers!

Not a lot to show for three weeks of life now I come to think of it.

Except…..after two weeks I realised that underlying the day to day there was a growing feeling of loneliness. It wasn't so much the fact I was missing the daily cups of tea faithfully delivered each morning with a 'Morning gorgeous'. It wasn't the fact I had to remember to take the right bins out on the right days or go to the tip with the excess rubbish. Nor was it because I had to fill and empty the dishwasher or do the ironing. Yes, you heard that right, my husband does the ironing. (Admittedly whilst watching football or sport of some sort but hey - he volunteers and I don't complain about it!)
The reason I have felt lonely is because I miss HIM. Not for what he does or doesn't do but for his presence. He is the one I love having by my side, my handsome, gifted, teasing, helpful, kind and faithful partner. We fit! After 27 years of 'fit' I've discovered in three weeks that this is more than living alongside each other, though at times we've been in danger of doing just that, it's being a part of each other. 'The two shall become one' is the biblical revelation and finally it seems I've woken up to this profound truth.

So with 'one more sleep' I eagerly anticipate his return. I have read and re read the last email he sent which expressed the sentiment 'I want to love you more and you to love me too - otherwise we are missing out!' I think he's gorgeous and I want to kiss him. He asked me to prepare and get ready to give each other more space and time for each other.

This blog has been motivated out of an excited heart resounding with a big YES -
bring it on!