The Glory Place

Our 7 year old foster child popped a question the other month which took me by surprise. He asked what our house was called. He has a strange habit of asking things and articulating thoughts that I have already been having. A secret and deep heart cry of mine has been to have a GLORY home. I had already dreamed of naming our home 'The Glory Place.'

You may wonder why I haven't simply gone ahead and done this already. If truth be known it's been a challenging year for me in terms of being a Glory carrier. I'm a firm believer that followers of Jesus by nature are glory carriers. Since our little lad was placed with us he has challenged every spiritual principle we have lived by thus far.

He had been in care for three months and had already experienced a placement break down due to his anger issues and violent outbursts. From day one it was like having a ticking bomb come into our home. One never knew when he was likely to explode. The unpredictability, destruction and abuse became a daily occurence which challenged our teenage daughters to threaten leaving home. So much for a glory place. We were living in a war zone!

The support we recieved as specialist foster carers to hold onto this type of child was invaluable and certainly saw us through the worst few months of our lives as a family. He came to us carrying  7 years worthy of stored up and unchallenged violence, abuse, confrontation and social and emotional neglect. Exactly the worst case scenario depicted in National newpapers over the last year. Considered a ferrel child, he was actually in need of secure boundaries and unconditional love. But OH!....the cost to us all!

9 months on and we are finally sensing the peace, beginning to breathe again and feel like we are reestablishing our home order. This child has slowly got the message and is responding to the boundaries, loving discipline, follow through on consequences of behavious (both positive and negative!) and we are starting to feel that the war is over. He loves the boundaries and is like a dry and thirsty well when it comes to recieving praise and affirmation .

As I look back over the stormy months when as a family each one of us was battered in some way and emotionally abused, I can see that the GLORY has been there all along. In fact the glory has been  increasing through adversity and challenge. The glory that has been deposited, that we draw from and for which we daily crave has left our home more of a glory place than I guess it would ever have been if we hadn't opened our arms to this lost and written off child.

A day of contrasts

Sunday 30th January marked an amazing day of contrasts....beginning at the Blackbird leys leisure centre with over a thousand spectators and child/ youth participants ready to compete in a variety of high energy street dance competitions through to the ethereal atmosphere of the Magdelen Chapel choir.

It was the first time that daughter number one had the opportunity to take part in a competition and I had committed myself to being at her side until the end. By the time her turn came the beat of the music was already pounding in my head. This, combined with the fact that my normal caffiene free diet had been ruined through my having had several strong cups of coffee, left me 'stoked' and ready for the long haul.

Mel bravely joined the line up of 40 + youngsters in her age range who were about to compete for places in the solo 'starters' section. The music cued and I watched the four 'judges' circle round the eager and often  desparate dancers vying for attention and placement into the next round. The judges had a relentless job. I don't know how they did it but by the end of a series of dance offs the semi finals were announced and Mel's name was read out. She had been 'placed'. O the heights of joy but then of despair as the second chance she had to shine was quickly dashed as it became clear she was unfamiliar with the chosen music (it all sounded the same drum beat to me!) By the time she got into her rhythmn the music was over and the judges had already chosen the four who were to go to final stage. Crestfallen we waited to hear the worst and sure enough, when the contestants for the final were anounced, her name was not among them.

Hope did however loom on the horizon as she had yet to dance in the pairs 'starter' section. The only problem was that the solo dance offs had taken so long to complete that it was already 3pm by the time they even started the next section of dances which was for 'groups'! It emerged that the 'pairs' section was to be the last of the day.

Although committed to the end I had not anticipated that the end would be past 6pm. I needed to rethink the plan! I had already agreed to attend and pick up my Godson, a chorister with Magdelen College Choir, after the Choral evensong, so this complicated matters considerably. I had the car and it would mean a marathon cycle ride from one side of Oxford to the other for my hubby to relieve me and take on the role of parental support. Happily he agreed, (for me that is...he wan't so happy!) He arrived in due course and I was released from the heaving mass of sweaty bodies and empty high energy drink cans to discover  blissful retreat in the peace of the Magdelen College Chapel.

O the glory and bliss of silence as I snuck into place on the end of a row. The orchestra struck up and the air was filled with melody and a sense of the divine. The choristers filed in and the ensuing service took me to a place a million miles from the thump and grind of the street.  It was a few hymns in before the dull beat in my head receded and my body caught up with my spirit which was by now in raptures of joyous relief.

My Godson was a sport, he agreed to come back with me to the street dance to pick  up my daughter who by now had actually got through to the medal stage of the pairs. (That in itself is another story!) We watched in wonder at the culmination of a day of buzz and energy resulting in the final awards ceremony. The best of it is that daughter number one and her partner in the pairs were anounced as the winners!

Treasure Hunting

Having been asked to lead the children and youth sessions at a planned camp, I was pondering on afternoon activities and decided that a treasure hunt with a difference was in order.

The camp was no ordinary camp - for one thing there were no tents to sleep in. When I say camp I mean that there were several large meeting tents for various groups of people to meet in. People could decide if they wanted to stay in local camp sites, B&B's or hotels. My family informed me early on that they had no intention of coming if we planned to actually camp. The B& B was consequently booked asap!

We had spent some time teaching and helping the children and youth to listen prayerfully to God. Prayer being a two way conversation we felt it was important that children learn how to recognise God's voice and hear what He may be saying to them.  It becomes an adventure for children when they realise they can hear God for themselves.The idea of treasure hunt  is that children listen for clues from God and ask Him to show them where the treasure is. On the first afternoon we had sevearl clues between us all. A clock tower,  fish and chip shop and post office seemed to point to a town. Not knowing the area, we asked around where there might be a clock tower. No one seemed to know but it was suggested we head for a specific town nearby.

There were 5 adults and 5 children and we were all astounded when we arrived at the town and saw a clock tower, fish shop and post office on each side of us! We realised we were in the right spot and started looking for the other clues which we now trusted would lead us to the people who we believed God would want us to encourage with His love...the real treasure!

Other clues included - a lady with bangles on her right arrm, a man with a green top, teenagers, soemone with a headache and many more. We spotted a lady with bangles on her arm, a man  with a green top and teenagers. We  were able to confidently approach various people and ask if they would like prayer for anything. Eveyone was pleased to receive prayer and the children were able to pray with confidence knowing that God had led them very specifically to these people.

Time off to smell the roses.....

Having hardly seen each other the month of May, Briza and I managed to get a few days short break this last week. We were really blessed to get an upgrade on the room we had booked in a lovely hotel in Cheltenham. The deal was for bed breakfast and evening meal and the room we ended up staying in was a special treat. The bathroom alone was luxury enough to spend a week in! We made use of the flat screen TV at the end of the bath a couple of times and I was particularily taken with the multi colour light which illuminated the loo roll,  making a trip to the bathroom in the middle of the night quite an adventure. 

It was great to have the time together! We had almost forgotten what it was like to be away together without the children. I'm happy to say they were being well looked after by Briza'a sister and hubby who had kindly offered to come and 'babysit'. 

    

For me, the sign of a good break is the number of sketches and paintings one manages to do. There was not much opportunity the first day as we braved the weather which continuously threatened rain - Briza looked quite hunky in the bright yellow rain poncho I had been carrying around with me for months in anticipation of such an occasion! The second day promised much better weather and we set off on a longer walk. Having the luxury of time I actually managed three sketches and various water colour washes as we paused and admired the views over Cheltenham from our vantage point high up the mountain.

One of our stopping points was at 'devils chimney' a natural stone structure which history records was for many years a challenge to climbers. Now cordoned off due to erosion, it was fascinating to learn that at one time 13 people had actually climbed up and perched on top.

It was especially pleasing to have the time to stop and ponder and soak in the land. Briza and I are opposite types of people and it was good to be reminded that when we do take the time to walk together we are enriched to appreciate the view from each others different perspectives. Our lives have been enhanced these last few days and I'm hoping it won't be too long before we have time to do it all again.

Mad month of travel

On return from Israel at the beginning of this month, hubby met me at the airport and handed over the girls. He flew straight off to Uganda for the week and I tried to catch up work, washing, mothering and life in general. Hubby returned the following Sunday and we had exactly one day together before I headed back to the airport to catch a flight to....Uganda!  Same place exactly...our dear friend and work colleague Isobel had made space in her home to accomodate both of us... only separartely!

The time in Uganda was precious and I believe that much was achieved for the networks in East Africa working with children at risk. The cockroaches, slow trickle of water in the shower and the power cuts were a reminder that I should be more appreciative of the standard of living we have here in the UK.
Following hot on the heels of Uganda I travelled to Cape Town, South Africa where I was able to connect with 'CONNECT' the network working with children at risk. This coincided with a Global Day of Prayer summit that was happening in celenbration of 10 years of GDoP.

The time was full and punctuated with wonderful connections with old friends from around the globe. It was a priviledge to be part of this global gathering and I had the added blessing of sharing a room with an Australian friend and her daughter who previously were only skype connections! I did manage a trip to the top of table mountain thanks to two more of my friends inviting me to skive off one of the plenary sessions.....I guess one can always hear Ed Silvosa another time!

The final day was spent networking with new friends around the 'World Weekend of Prayer' for children at risk - This year falling on 5-6th June. God was in the house and we all felt a sense of divine connection especially regarding raising children as 'Child Ambassadors' - something I was championing in Africa and have a vision to see expand across Viva's networks globally. Children being raised to hear God's voice in prayer and to be a voice on behalf of their peers who suffer so much in the earth.

On hindsight the month could have been planned a little better - regardless - I now find myself back home 2 weeks later having to catch up on hubby, children, work , washing and life in general. I came back to discover my neighbour has had a baby....that's how long it seems. (Last time I saw her it was a small bump.)

The trip has saturated me for travel- my only desire right now is to be home based for a good length of time. Maybe until October when there's something else brewing on the horizon.....

Car park fiasco

Since the beginning of the year we have been on a mission to help sort out and update my mum's kitchen. My Mr Fixit husband was on hand and we set aside a weekend to complete the job. All I had to do was take mum to a local DIY store, choose a paint colour,some tiles and a border.Easier said then done. The plethora of paints, tiles and border tiles left us with too many decisions to make in a short period of time. When we finally got out of the shop the car park was full with people queing to find a space.

We were delayed leaving the car park because a lady had driven the wrong way to reverse into a space and was then pipped at the post by another impatient driver resulting in the lady stuck in a tight spot. The queue forming behind us grew as she laboriously reversed back out of the car park into oncoming traffic! We breathed as sigh of relief when we arrived home!

Thinking that was the end of it and pleased with the results of our labours and the final colour  and tile decisions I was somewhat dismayed to recieve a letter the following week, It was from some company acting on behalf of the DIY store threatening debt colletion of I didn't pay up a parking fine. To my amazement there was a picture of my car entering and exiting the car park.Apparently there were signs everywhere which were totally lost on me, my mum, and my 12 year old daughter, saying you had only one hour free stay as a customer. In the small print it said you could appeal and appeal I most certainly did. Horrified at the idea of debt collectors turning up at my house - yet having no intention of paying what I percieved to be the most ridiculously unfair car park fine. I composed a letter stating three VERY good reaons why I felt it unreasonable to expect payment and tried to remain logical despite my inner fury at at the injustice.

The letter worked! I had listed the fact I was with my elderly mother and to expect decisions to be made in an hour when purchasing the items we did was unreasonable, I listed the fact that we had NOT seen any signs warning us of the hour limit, and my final reasoning was the fact we had been severely delayed exiting the car park taking us well over the allocated hour.

The fact my mother is a sprightly and tenacious 77 year old who, on hearing about the fine had insisted on speaking with the manager if the DIY store is neither here nor there....my letter had apparently done the job.

Power to the people!

When a Wii is not cricket!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Wii is succesfully joining families together over generations and miles, just not this family! The reasons are many and varied; traditions have become deeply embedded as the years have progressed and the majority of my family have remained firm novices when it comes to correct gift purchasing.
The ‘secret santa’ tradition of placing our names into a ‘hat’ and taking out the name of another family member in order to buy just one present every Christmas, began when my generation became adults and started having children of our own. We decided that £20 was a good sum of money in order to buy a decent present for each other and looked forward to unwrapping the ‘family’ gift every year.
From the outset it became evident that certain members of the family were easier to buy for than others. The ones who didn’t specify a gift choice would inevitably end up with traditional and obvious types of pressies. Socks and aftershave for the men and scarves and perfume for the ladies. The more difficult to please and choosy members of the family became the ones everyone would groan over and the ones you hoped you wouldn’t end up with. The fact this was all kept secret from each other left for much deliberation and leg pulling.
2009 has been one of the most notable of family ‘secret santa’ efforts. A number of things have dawned on us – firstly, £20 is nowhere near enought these days to purchase anything half decent and secondly the family saga that has ensued signifies that it might be time to re think the tradition.
The long suffering relatives who didn’t used to mind what they got have finally bitten back and have become the ones who now specify EXACTLY what they want every year. My husband has become one of these and decided that this year his precious £20 family present should be some water proof covers for his shoes for when he’s cycling. I think they’re called gaiters, (well that’s what I told the person who ‘secretly’ had pulled his name from the hat.)
I had given up being subtle in my efforts to find out what my chosen person wanted for Christmas. Cutting down on time and confusion I came straight out with the question- needless to say my person got EXACTLY what they wanted and was very happy with the resultant gift. My sister and brother in law on the other hand struggled to find ‘gaiters’. The cycling magazine hubby ended up with had the £20 attached with a note admitting defeat – they had tried and tried again only to be confounded by the notion of such things. (Annoyingly my brother in law had actually come across them at £30 a pop in a sports shop only to be told by another member of the family that these were not the sort because they didn’t reach his knees! (HIS KNEES!)?)
The brother in law threw in the towel completely however, when, on opening his family present, he was dismayed to see the title ‘Cricket’ across what looked to be a DVD. To contextualise his disappointment it might be helpful for you to know that on a previous Christmas the ‘family’ had given him a set of video tapes showing the ‘complete cricket test series’ (or something of that sort). Although graciously received at the time, I don’t think he ever got round to watching them! This hstory blinkered him to what might have been a redeeming feature in the fact that this was in fact a Wii cricket game and not the DVD he had initially thought, he went off on one about how he hated cricket and could think of nothing worse than cricket and that he no longer wanted to be part of the family!
So...we are potentially one family member short for next year, which, I’m sure you’ll agree, will mess up numbers. So.... I am going to tentatively suggest that for 2010 we think more creatively about celebrating our saviours birth.